


A Durin Christmas Carol

by Small_Hobbit



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: In which Thorin Oakenshield is visited by three wizards, and comes to repent his ways.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15
Collections: What If? AU Challenge





	A Durin Christmas Carol

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the WhatIf AU "Winter Holidays" challenge

Thorin Oakenshield left his office in Durin Bank reluctantly. He didn’t see why they should close up early simply because it was Christmas Eve, but Dwalin, who was head of the bank’s security had been insistent, so on the dot of 15.30 Thorin exited the main door. He was barely clear when he heard the lock being turned and the bolts shot.

Despite the smattering of snow, he walked back along the river to his home in one of the new apartment blocks. It wasn’t, as some might have thought, because he enjoyed the walk, but he saved money by not taking public transport. As for using taxis, that was a ridiculous expense.

Once in his apartment he locked the door, hung up his overcoat and replaced his suit jacket with a suitably dark pullover. Then he poured himself precisely two fingers of whisky and sat down on his leather sofa. It was slightly early to be drinking, but perhaps he would allow himself a second glass later in the evening. After all, he thought drily, it was Christmas.

He was looking out of the window, watching the snowflakes swirl in the festive lights which had been installed on the outside of the block (another unnecessary expense, which would be added to the annual charge), when he heard footsteps in the entrance hall behind him. He spun round, amazed that a burglar would be able to penetrate the block’s security system plus his own locks.

To his surprise he was confronted by his grandfather, or at least an image of his grandfather, who had died ten years before.

“Who are you? And what do you want?” Thorin snapped.

“So you no longer recognise your grandfather?”

“Of course I do, but he’s dead.”

“I am, but I have been sent to warn you that you will be visited by three spirits tonight, and you would do well to listen to them.”

Thorin shook his head. “Just go back where you came from, old man. The world has moved on since you were here.”

“You have been warned,” the ghost said shrilly, and faded away.

“Ridiculous!” Thorin said. Nevertheless, he poured himself another glass of whisky. “Nothing like one spirit to chase off another,” he said to himself.

***

Thorin did have the glass of whisky he had promised himself that evening, and, in the circumstances, he permitted himself to pour a third finger. He was therefore slightly fuzzy when he went to bed, and he had forgotten the ghost’s warning. As usual he set his alarm for 6am. It might be Christmas Day, but he saw no reason to make any adjustments. He would be unable to go into the bank, so would work at home, it would be the ideal opportunity to start the next year’s budget when there was no likelihood of being interrupted. His sister had invited him to spend the day with her and the rest of the family, but he had no intention of going.

He fell asleep, but woke an hour later, to find someone resembling a wizard sitting on his bed.

“Who are you?” Thorin said. “Go away. It’s,” he looked at his clock, “midnight!”

“I am the Wizard of Christmas Past, and I have come to remind you of your past Christmases.”

“Thank you, but I don’t need to be reminded. As I said, it’s midnight.”

Thorin shut his eyes, but to his alarm felt as though he was being lifted up and flying through the air. He opened his eyes and shouted, “Put me down!”

They landed and he found himself in a large room, the furniture all pushed to the sides, with a Christmas tree at one end. In the middle of the room there were a number of children playing with new toys, and seated round the edge, on a variety of mismatched sofas, armchairs and dining chairs were the adults.

“Do you remember this?” the wizard asked.

“Of course. It’s my parents’ house. There’s Fili and Kili playing with their new train. I remember buying it for them. And Dis watching them. And, oh, that’s me.”

“You look happy there.”

“I was.”

“So what changed?”

“I had to take over the bank. That sort of behaviour belongs where you see it, in the past. Now, I’d like to go back to bed.”

No sooner had Thorin said the words than he realised he was back in his bed. He pulled the duvet over his head and went back to sleep.

***

The sleep didn’t last long, because once more Thorin woke to find another wizard at the foot of his bed. Once again he looked at his clock.

“Go away! It’s one in the morning and you are not needed.”

“I am the Wizard of Christmas Present, and I have come to show you the reality you’re ignoring.”

“I’m aware of all I need to know, thank you very much.”

The wizard wasn’t taking no for an answer, and Thorin once again found himself flying through the air. (He started singing the song from _The Snowman_ but stopped as soon as he realised what he was doing.)

This time the room they landed in was not as big, but there was still sufficient space for a large dining table. He noticed one of the places was left empty.

Thorin heard Fili, his oldest nephew, say, “I don’t know why you bother, Mother. He won’t join us.”

“I hope, one day, he will change his mind,” Dis replied. “And when he does, I don’t want him to feel unwelcome.”

Kili snorted. “He’d better come soon, then, or there will be hardly anybody left.”

“What’s he talking about?” Thorin demanded of the wizard.

“Listen!”

“There’s a few more years until I retire,” Balin said. “But when I do, I shall be spending my winters further south.”

“And I’m looking forward to spending my Christmases with you,” Dwalin added.

“But it may be you two will be bringing your new wives to us for Christmas,” Dis said.

“Well,” Fili replied. “We’ll certainly be visiting, but Sigrid may want to spend Christmas Day with her own family.”

“I can understand that,” Dis agreed.

“Wives?” Thorin exclaimed. “When did that happen?”

“I believe your assistant has told you and put both weddings in your diary for next year.”

“Bilbo is very efficient. I would be lost without him,” Thorin said, then continued listening to the conversation around the dining table.

“When do you finish, Bilbo?” Kili asked.

“I shall be handing my notice in next month. Three months will take me to the middle of April, which will give me some time to travel before I take up my studies again,” Bilbo replied.

“What!” Thorin shouted. “No, no, no. You can’t do that!”

He marched up to Bilbo, but the wizard said, “They can’t hear you.”

“I won’t believe it,” Thorin muttered. “Take me back to bed.”

The next minute he was back under the duvet.

***

Thorin slept fitfully for the next hour, and, when he woke, he wasn’t at all surprised to see a third wizard on his bed.

“I am the Wizard of Christmas Yet To Come and am here to show you what will happen.”

The wizard took them to stand outside the bank. Once again it was snowing. The front door open and Balin stepped out. With him was a young man, carrying a selection of presents. A taxi drew up and Balin got in, the young man passing the presents over to him.

“All the best to you, sir,” he said. “Have a very happy retirement.” He looked round. “I’m surprised the chairman didn’t come to bid you farewell.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Balin said with a sigh. “You’ve all been very kind to me. I never expected such a send-off, and I really appreciate it.”

The young man went back inside, Dwalin holding the door open for him, and waving to Balin as his taxi departed. The wizard also went in and Thorin followed him.

“Okay, I get why I wouldn’t have had time for the farewell, but surely Fili and Kili would have gone in my place,” Thorin said.

They entered Thorin’s office, and Thorin winced as he saw a middle-aged lady arranging the few Christmas cards. It was a job Bilbo currently did for him. Knowing he couldn’t be seen, Thorin went over to read the cards.

The first was from Fili and showed a picture of him and what was presumably his family. The return address was somewhere in Suffolk.

“Why doesn’t Fili work here anymore?” Thorin asked the wizard.

“He couldn’t afford to bring up his family near London, on the salary you were paying him, and he wasn’t prepared to commute and miss out on the children growing up.”

Thorin snorted and looked at the next card. This one was from Kili, who was, it appeared, working for his father-in-law’s bank, and one of Durin Bank’s rivals.

“Ethical investment,” Thorin grumbled.

“You said he couldn’t do it here, so he chose to go elsewhere.”

“I’ve seen enough, wizard, take me home.”

For a third time Thorin found himself back in bed.

***

He tried to sleep but couldn’t. He was disappointed when three o’clock came round and there were no more visitations. In the end he got up, found the papers with his initial budget figures and started to make adjustments. When his alarm went off at six o’clock he adopted his normal regime of showering and breakfasting, before returning to the figures to check he’d got them right.

It was at that point he realised he had no idea what had happened to the invitation Dis had sent him. He had intended on joining them for lunch but didn’t feel he could go without knowing the arrangements.

At that moment a text arrived. <Happy Christmas, brother. Lunch is at 1. Come any time after 12. Dis x>

He briefly texted back <Happy Christmas, sister X> and continued making plans. (He never knew the consternation that text caused. No-one had expected him to reply, so it was greeted by a stunned silence, followed by several increasingly wild theories.)

At half past eleven, the taxi, which he had ordered at enormous expense, but that didn’t matter, arrived to take him to Dis’ house. He reached the house shortly after twelve and knocked on the door. Fili opened the door and stood stock still, before saying, “Come in, Uncle.”

He followed Fili into the lounge and accepted an armchair. Dis put her head round the door, and then rapidly disappeared again, and he could hear her muttering to Kili. He guessed that although she laid a place for him at the table, she hadn’t got him a present. 

He wasn’t bothered, and said, loudly enough to be heard outside the room, “I’m sorry I don’t have presents for everyone, but I do have a few, which I would like to distribute now if I may.”

Dis and Kili returned and sat down on the sofa.

Thorin looked round at his friends and family, and, for the first time in many years, felt slightly nervous. He swallowed and said, “Firstly, it is time Fili started to take more responsible within the bank, and as I intend to do less work next year, this seems to be the ideal moment for him to become my assistant. There will, naturally, be an increase in his salary, to reflect his promotion, which I am sure will prove beneficial, both to his new wife, and hopefully to his future family.”

Fili looked stunned, struggled to find something appropriate to say, and finally settled simply on “Thank you.”

Thorin smiled. “Now, Kili, I believe you are interested in ethical investment.” Kili nodded, as bemused as his brother. “Come the new year, I would like you to concentrate on this, so that by Easter we may have some formal propositions to add an ethical investment sector to our portfolio. Do you think that would be possible?”

“Yes,” Kili said. “I can do it. Umm, yes, thank you.”

“And lastly,” Thorin continued, “Bilbo. I shall be lost once you leave, and therefore I am hoping we can come to an agreement whereby you will continue to work part-time for me. I understand you will not be taking a full-time course, and I am sure a regular income will make life easier for you. I realise you will be wanting some time off to travel, and I am sure this can be factored in one way or another.”

“I’d be delighted to continue working for you,” Bilbo replied. “I wasn’t aware I’d told anyone about my plans to travel, and there’s nothing arranged as yet, so I don’t need to do so.”

“Of course you need to travel,” Thorin said firmly. “It will help your studies immensely if you do. I may even have some suggestions for you.”

He might have said more, but Dis suddenly leapt up and squawked, “My Yorkshire puddings, they’ll be burning,” and dashed out of the room.

And Balin, smiling, said, “Perhaps it would be a good idea to lay the table now.”

Fili and Kili shot into the dining room, ostensibly to do that, but in reality to discuss what Thorin had just offered them.

The others followed through shortly afterwards, and it was the merriest Christmas meal that any of them had had for many years.

***

And if, in the summer, Thorin took six weeks’ holiday from the bank, and accompanied Bilbo on his travels, who could complain at that?


End file.
